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September 19, 2011
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Goals Are Overrated

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I’ve been having some conversations lately about goal setting and goal achievement.  In my coaching career up to this point, goals have been a principal focus. And as my business practice has evolved, and perhaps my clients have evolved as well, I increasingly think we are off the mark when we talk about goals.

If this looks familiar, it’s because much of the below was originally posted in my Google Blog in March of 2011.  I hope you’ll take a moment to read this entry even if you read that one, because I’ve learned some new things since then and made some notable edits.

What I’m increasingly discovering is that the old ways of setting and planning goals are getting harder to do and harder even to relate to, because the goals we’re setting now aren’t nearly as concrete as they used to be.  And even the concrete aspects of them tend to be a means to an end.  Think about it. When you set a goal like losing 20 pounds, managing your time better, finishing a project or quitting smoking, is that concrete goal really the point? And here’s an even more interesting question: how do you know when you’ve achieved your goal, really?

Let me start with the 20 pounds goal as an example, because it is nice and concrete. It’s one a lot of people can relate to, and several methods for doing it are fairly well understood (if hotly debated). So the WAY-SMART goal, written down, aligned with your values, yours personally, is specific (lose 20 pounds), measurable (on the scale), attainable (unless you only weigh 70 pounds to begin with), realistically high (20 is a lot, right?) and time-based (we’ll give it six months, so call the target date March 20, 2012* just for the sake of clarity). When you step on the scale on March 20 and it reads a number 20 pounds less than it did today, so what?

The number on the scale isn’t the point, is it? The point is that you feel healthier. That you wear a smaller size or like how you look in the mirror. That it’s easier to move around or climb a flight of stairs or keep up with your kids. That you’re proud of your accomplishment. That you’ve made some permanent change to your lifestyle that you’re happy about. Or just -that you’re happy.
Out of this hypothetical scenario emerges the real key question: when you achieve your goal, whatever it is, will you be happy? What does that look like? Can you describe that feeling? Can you imagine it? And when you feel it, are you done? When is your goal “done” — or is it ever done? Instead of setting goals and milestones and project plans, sometimes we may need to think simply in terms of an intention to achieve a desired new state of being. “I want to feel [some certain way] six months from now, and what I believe I need to do in order to feel that way is [some action]. I will know I’ve been successful, not when I’ve done the action, but when I feel the feeling.”  So perhaps the best thing we can do to implement positive behavioral change to achieve improved results is not so much to set a goal, but rather to set an intention.  To worry less about the mechanics of how and be more open to discovering the what.  To identify the things that truly reflect who we are and who we want to be, and build on those, rather than be in a constant struggle to shore up the things we perceive as weaknesses.  And to celebrate our wins, large and small, every day.
*I note with some amusement that I am doing this re-write on September 19, almost six months to the day from the original blog post that named “September 20″ as the target date for the example goal.